And I should be studying....

Actual conversation at work today:

Me: Until they, you know, create anti-matter and go into space.
Co-worker: Yeah! Like, have you ever read "Angels and Demons"?
Me: Huh?
Co-worker: "Angels and Demons".
Me: Oh yeah, by the same guy who did the Da Vinci Code?
Co-worker: Dan Brown, yeah. About anti-matter!
Me: Huh?
Co-worker: You know. What the entire book was about?
Me: Oh. I guess I really only remember the box of penises.
Co-worker: What.
Me: You know, when he's in the Vatican and he's talking about the Great Castration where all the statues' penises were hacked off and he thought, 'oh wouldn't it be nifty if there was an enormous box of marble penises hidden in the catacombs --
Co-worker: Oh. Yeah, I think I remember that.

And then I got the God-You're-Strange-Eyeball for at least another half an hour, until I brought up the subject of Embarassing Childhood Crushes.

Hers: Basil of Bakerstreet.
Mine: Cornelius from Planet of the Apes.

It's a twista! It's a twista!

Ok, so has anyone seen that rather ridiculous movie "The Day After Tomorrow"? Right, when giant natural disasters caused by global warming and the inability to listen when Dennis Quaid gabbles crackpot scientific 'theories'?

Um, and part of the natural disasters are tornados that destroy Los Angeles?

Ok, so maybe we're a bit far north, but seriously? When was the last time Washington state had a tornado?

The radio told us to get to the basement, and if we didn't have one, sit in the closet and cover ourselves with pillows and blankets. I've heard that during tornados, uncooked eggs can be driven through solid trees unbroken. So what I want to know is, from all you midwest apartment-dwelling people out there who apparently (according to movieland) have to deal with this on a regular basis:

Do the pillows protect you from eggs? Cause I've got a fresh dozen in my fridge.

Well, that's the news from P-town. I'll be awaiting your answers. In my closet. Hiding from eggs. If Japan starts getting hit with hailstones the size of grapefruit, I'll be moving to Mexico.


While studying for (yet another) anatomy exam, I took a time out to take the longest Harry Potter sorting quiz EVER! And to my delighted shock:

The sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherin!

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."

Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.

Take the most scientific Harry Potter
ever created.

Get Sorted Now!

Right, so the final results were that I scored higher than 74% in Slytherin, 69% Ravenclaw, 65% Gryffindor, and 47% Hufflepuff. Although I do have to say that I think that the author of the quiz was focusing too much on the "hardworking" bit and not enough on the "lazy fatties" bit. The Dorms are made of chocolate, for god's sake! And right next to the kitchens, for when we've eaten the bedposts in the middle of the night.

Incidentally, I like the idea of the opening being a still-life portrait. How the fuck are we supposed to get in, if there's no one to give the password to? Shit, that must confuse the hell out of the first-years.

Maybe we lick the painting.


Is that idea gross, or inconcievably cool?


So the absolute CUTEST gay couple came into work today. Just the cutest. Wanted to make me coo. Ok, so one of them had man tits -- not bitch tits, where he's so overweight he needs a bra, but man tits, when he's overdeveloped his pecs so that they stand out like boobs in a really good bra -- but he was still cute, and his lover was all worried about how to take care of the kitties and everything.

Seriously, I love it when couples get their first pet together. And while it's really a horrible idea, to try to cement a relationship with a living creature, it happens to straight folks with children all the fucking time. And with animals, too. But really.


Wha huh?

I listen to the country stations occasionally

(pause for gasping)

much to the chagrin of my family, I'm sure.


So along comes this song, and I listen to the lyrics, like I do, and I find that it's "Online" by Bradaisley. Now, for all of you who don't know the song (like I didn't), the lyrics are Collapse )

Now, I'm wondering, inside my little brain, why exactly is this man singing this song? Is he mocking the internet geeks? Is he making a social statement about the basic dishonesty inherent in a system where there are no consequences for doing this?

...Or is he merely giving one big shout-out to all his geeky, country music-listening counterparts?

my name is

Story Time!

Do you love Batman? Do you love hearing about Batman? Do you love people who love Batman?

I am now this author's personal manager! Yay me! What is the pay, do you ask? I get to read them first!

Title: Kidnapping Can Be Fun!
Author: burly_curly
Rating: PG for some violence & mild nudity.
Summary: It's all in a normal day for wife to billionaire Bruce Wayne. Kidnapping, foot massages, .... Monopoly?

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