Michael Charlton, whoever you are, I love you.
See, a bit of explanation is required at this point.
...isn't there always?
I sometimes read an online magazine called www.Slate.com. And I know it's boring and probably one-sided and whatever, but I only read it for the movie reviews and Dear Prudence anyways (people are so fucked up and it's funny!) so I was trolling along and they had this contest: which movie of the past five years would you remake now, with whom, and why?
And someone named Michael Charlton wrote in with this:
I would remake Troy with the Muppets, in the belief that Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy would add more gravitas to the story as Achilles and Helen than the living actors did. I would use a nearly identical script but include Statler and Waldorf (the two grumpy old guys in the balcony) so that they could read from the Iliad and note where the script favors plot points lifted from Steve Reeves and Michael Bay movies instead of Homer. Unlike the original, Muppet Troy would also allow for kid-friendly merchandising, such as Baby's First Trojan Horse.
I love you, Michael Charlton.