kate_fire (kate_fire) wrote,
kate_fire
kate_fire

Wha huh?

I listen to the country stations occasionally

(pause for gasping)

much to the chagrin of my family, I'm sure.

ANYWAYS...

So along comes this song, and I listen to the lyrics, like I do, and I find that it's "Online" by Bradaisley. Now, for all of you who don't know the song (like I didn't), the lyrics are
I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm five foot three and overweight
I'm a sci: fi fanatic, mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace.

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online
I'm so much cooler online.

I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time
I've ever been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

But online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein
I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online.

When you've got my kind of stats
It's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and lose a bunch of weight
Every time I log in.

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online.


Now, I'm wondering, inside my little brain, why exactly is this man singing this song? Is he mocking the internet geeks? Is he making a social statement about the basic dishonesty inherent in a system where there are no consequences for doing this?

...Or is he merely giving one big shout-out to all his geeky, country music-listening counterparts?


Anybody?
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